You ask any kid what they want to be when they grow up, and you’ll likely get a response that involves a career in a super challenging field, or maybe something you’ve never even heard of.
Ask an adult the same question, and you might get a blank stare, shoulder shrug, or hear the words “I’m content or happy with what I do now.”
While these observations are extremely generalized, the truth is, somewhere between adolescence, and adulthood, the belief that we can be anything we want to be starts to fade, and we inevitably find ourselves reaching for stability instead of our dreams.
I’ve often asked myself, what exactly is the difference between the “successful” people I see on TV or read about in magazines, social media, or listen to on podcasts?!
What was it about them that drove them to pursue their dreams of fame, fortune, or both, versus the 90 or so per cent of everyone else who opted for “stability” instead?
At what point in their lives or careers did that light switch come on, empowering them with the courage and fortitude to break away from the norm and become the man or women they dreamed about as a kid?
Having gone through a major transformation myself recently, stepping off the cliff of stability, and leaping headfirst into the sea of dreams, I’m beginning to see and understand the inner drivers and beliefs that separate those who break through and those who remain bound by the illusion of stability.
I realize these are strong words and can be perceived negatively. My intent, however, isn’t to judge, put down, or vilify on either side of the spectrum.
My goal is to encourage and offer strategies to those on a quest to pursue purpose, live out their dreams and create wealth for themselves and their families.
That said, one of the first areas that you’ll need to acknowledge and address as you move forward in pursuing your dreams and designing your destiny is self-doubt and unbelief?
Why start with these two? Good question.
Related: 4 Mindset Shifts For Success in Life, Leadership, & Career
See I’ve learned over the past two years in pursuing my dream of entrepreneurship that no matter how much you make, how many self-development books you read or conferences you attend, and no matter how tight your internal operations, sales, or marketing strategies, your inability to believe in you will not only hinder your growth financially but also your effectiveness in fulfilling your dreams and creating the level of impact you truly desire.
Inevitably, the self-doubt and negative beliefs you hold in the inner recesses of your mind will cause you to begin sabotaging yourself and everything you’ve worked so hard to achieve.
So how do you address and make plans to avoid this nasty pitfall?!
You acknowledge its existence and you face it head on…one limiting belief at a time.
Uncovering how you developed a limiting belief is the first step in the process.
You can overcome limiting beliefs and self-doubt by getting to the bottom of where or how you adapted this belief in the first place.
Whether something happened in your childhood, or you adopted the belief(s) over time based on your circle or environment, you can replace those beliefs with new ones that are aligned with your destiny and what you are trying to achieve.
Let’s look at three areas where limiting beliefs are formed. There are certainly more than three, but for the purpose of this article, we’ll focus on Childhood, Relationships, and Environment.
1. Childhood
Unfortunately, many people learn to put off their dreams and limit their aspirations due to well-meaning parents (or maybe even abusive parents), who are consumed by their own self-limitations and can’t envision anything beyond their own circumstances.
It’s not to say that parents want to keep their kids from dreaming. In fact, in some cases, negative reactions or discouraging comments are made simply from a place of fear.
An example of this is a child who wants to be a writer and is told by his parents that no one makes money writing, or that writing isn’t a “real career.”
Statements such as these can lead to discouragement, causing the child to believe at an early age, that there is no point in developing his or her talent because it is worthless or not respected.
2. Relationships
Sometimes, we allow our past experiences and bad relationships to get in our heads and create limiting beliefs, self-doubt, and even low self-esteem.
These relationships can include the ones we have with our parents, siblings, spouses, friends, managers, or colleagues.
And depending on the severity of the negative experience we’ve had with these individuals, the toxicity can leave an imprint in our subconscious mind causing us to approach new relationships or interactions defensively.
For example, if you’ve been in a relationship where your significant other or friend constantly criticized you or your ideas, you may have subconsciously begun to believe what was said, causing you to adapt your thinking and eventually your behavior to that negativity.
3. Environment
The truth is, where we are born and/or grow up plays a major role in how we view the world, and our own identities and our potential.
Most people who are born in impoverished environments never make it out of that lifestyle.
Though the desire for more may be there, the inability to see beyond their circumstances, often keeps them stuck in the same cycle for generations until someone down the line is bold enough to push through the mental, emotional, spiritual, and environmental barriers to elevate themselves and those around them.
Time and time again, we’ve seen this battle played out through the lives of a lot of major athletes, rappers, movie stars, etc. They’re exposed to a different way of life or are given an opportunity to capitalize on their natural skill or ability, and BOOM, they’ve shifted the trajectory of their lives and those around them.
But here’s the thing…if you ask most people who grew up in poverty and “make it,” they will tell you that they had to move away from the environment they were born into to do so.
They had to physically step away, so they could mentally emotionally, and spiritually align themselves with where they desired to be.
As you move forward in your pursuit of purpose, living out your dreams and/or designing your own destiny, I want to leave you with this thought: Success begins in the mind first.
What we see in the natural i.e. material things, status, wealth, etc., are only the physical manifestations of what we see and believe in our minds first!
If there are areas where unbelief and self-doubt have kept you from realizing or achieving your dreams, I highly recommend you take time to do the inner work of acknowledging and addressing these areas at the root, so that you can be free to live out your destiny.
