It can be surprising just how difficult it is to say the word no to another person. This can be especially true in the workplace if the person asking is your manager or your superior and you worry about the consequences of letting them down.
As a result, many women find themselves saying yes in the workplace when they should be saying no. They keep saying "yes, I can take on that extra task or responsibility", when in reality they are already stretched to their limits and don’t know how to find the time to do the work at all, let alone effectively.
Sometimes, they say yes to work over the weekend to meet a deadline. In reality this will mean missing an important family event that means a lot to their children/partner/parents.
If we always find ourselves saying yes, we can quickly find our performance deteriorating, ourselves becoming stressed, even to the point of burnout, and our lives and relationships outside of the workplace suffering. Our relationships in the workplace can also suffer as we may become resentful, and others may stop thinking of us as someone capable of delivering good work all the time.
But do you know when to say no in the workplace, and what is the best way to say no in a way that doesn’t make you seem unwilling or uncooperative?
Setting Boundaries
The ability to say no with confidence is all about knowing your boundaries. Setting boundaries is something that you should do in every part of your life. We often talk about setting boundaries with toxic people, or how far we are willing to take intimate relationships with certain individuals. The same principles should be applied in the workplace.
But what do workplace boundaries look like? Here are some examples.
- Saying no to working on weekends
- Committing to not checking emails outside of hours or due to family time
- Turning down tasks that fall outside of your job description
- Not taking on additional work when you are at capacity
- Requesting to drop other responsibilities when taking on new responsibilities
- Giving yourself permission to say not to job opportunities if they are incompatible with your lifestyle choices
- Closing your office door when you need quiet time
- Not responding to emails and phone calls when you are engaged in deep work
These boundaries aren’t just you being stubborn! They are in place to help you manage your workload and maintain your work-life balance. This allows you to give your best when you are working. No one gives their best when they are stressed and overworked. Meanwhile, a little bit of space enhances productivity and creativity.
SEE ALSO: How Gratitude Can Help You Stay Focused on Important Things
Communicating Your Boundaries
It is all well and good to set boundaries at work, but how do you enforce those boundaries with others, especially if they are your superiors?
The first thing to do is let go of your fear. You will probably find that most managers respect your ability to manage yourself and your willingness to be honest about your capacity and what you need to deliver your best in the workplace.
And it is important to communicate your boundaries in this type of language. You prefer not to work on weekends because it diminishes your ability to deliver during the week. You don’t check emails in the evenings because this is family time. You block out periods when you don’t respond to emails and phone calls because this allows you to dive into deep work and produce better results.
SEE ALSO: Self-Care Tips to Help Avoid Burnout
While you aren’t required to justify your boundaries to others, explaining their purpose can help you get the support of others. But, if possible, you should explain your boundaries in terms of impact on the business (your performance), or things that tend to be universally important (such as time with family).
As well as couching your boundaries in the right terms, make sure that you are clear and specific. It is better that you don’t leave room for others to interpret what exactly you meant.
Finally, remember that you are not the only one who needs to set boundaries. If you want others to respect your boundaries, you need to be fastidious in respecting the boundaries of others as well.
Accountability
For boundaries to be meaningful, there needs to be accountability in place. While you will want to hold others accountable for respecting your boundaries, you need to hold yourself accountable first and foremost. If you do not stick to the clear boundaries that you communicated to others, why should they respect them? Or future boundaries that you may choose to share.
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